I dimly recall an extended essay by a woman leading an anti-porn organization who herself had been a porn star, as they are called. I remember she said that she was surprised at how insensitive/inconsiderate to women the male stars were; many downright abusive. There were some male actors she refused to work with. I believe porn sets up this dysfunctional, impersonal imbalance as normative, and it gives boys a very poor model to emulate, and works a cruel burden on women. I suspect the ubiquity and easy access to porn is a significant factor behind the decline in sexual activity among young people.
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- "I'm a hell of a lot smarter than most of you guys." — Joe Biden, at Jesse Jackson's funeral, March 2026.
- "That's all I do in my life. I make deals. I'm really good at it." — President Donald Trump, Oct. 13, 2025.
- “Inside every progressive is a totalitarian screaming to get out,” — David Horowitz.
- "We [Democrats] are all willing to work with anyone who is serious about doing the work of censoring the American people, and advancing progress." — Ayanna Pressley, explaining progressives.
- "Florida is where Woke goes to die." — Ron DeSantis.
- "No one is above the law, and everyone has the right to a trial to prove innocence." — Nancy Pelosi, explaining Lawfare.
- “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”— Ben Franklin, who got it right.
- "The way I see it, there's always, c'mon, there's always money. It's there." — Elizabeth Warren, explaining socialism.
- "The interesting thing about the Green New Deal is it wasn't originally a climate thing at all.... We really think of it as a how-do-you-change-the-entire-economy thing." — Saikat Chakrabarti, then AOC's Chief of Staff.
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Yes, that should have been your first reaction.Originally posted by 80zephyr View PostMay we raise children who love the unloved things - the dandelion, the worm, the spiderlings.
Children who sense the rose needs the thorn and run into rainswept days the same way they turn towards the sun...
And when they're grown and someone has to speak for those who have no voice,
may they draw upon that wilder bond, those days of tending tender things and be the one.Comment
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Why? Does this woman know me? Will my opinion of her cause her pain?Originally posted by Michele View Post
Like I stated before, don't you wonder why the world has gone to hell? Now no one feels shame for a bad decision. Getting a divorce? Have a party.
Calling a spade a spade is rarely a bad idea.
MarkRace Card: A tool of the intellectually weak and lazy when they cannot counter a logical argument or factual data.
"Liberals have to stop insisting that the world is what they want it to be instead of the way it is." - Bill Maher
Political correctness is ideological fascism. It’s the antithesis of freedom. Dr. Piper
Gender is not a "Social Construct", it is an outgrowth of biological reality.Comment
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May we raise children who love the unloved things - the dandelion, the worm, the spiderlings.
Children who sense the rose needs the thorn and run into rainswept days the same way they turn towards the sun...
And when they're grown and someone has to speak for those who have no voice,
may they draw upon that wilder bond, those days of tending tender things and be the one.Comment
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Race Card: A tool of the intellectually weak and lazy when they cannot counter a logical argument or factual data.
"Liberals have to stop insisting that the world is what they want it to be instead of the way it is." - Bill Maher
Political correctness is ideological fascism. It’s the antithesis of freedom. Dr. Piper
Gender is not a "Social Construct", it is an outgrowth of biological reality.Comment
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Grace is never a problem.Originally posted by 80zephyr View Post
How would you have shamed this girl?
May we raise children who love the unloved things - the dandelion, the worm, the spiderlings.
Children who sense the rose needs the thorn and run into rainswept days the same way they turn towards the sun...
And when they're grown and someone has to speak for those who have no voice,
may they draw upon that wilder bond, those days of tending tender things and be the one.Comment
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OK, I have to step in here and take my own lumps a bit. I am well on record as saying that shame works, though it should be pretty obvious that I meant that more universally rather than individually, as in: "you don't want to end up like that, do you?"Originally posted by Michele View Post
To answer the question: quietly and privately, if at all possible.
Now, I have not and do not change my position on shame because of this particular case: this Lana Rhoades person will have to live with this shame for the rest of her life. There simply is no changing that. The internet is forever, as they say.
But mercy also works. The Good Lord knows I've needed it more than once, and so have a whole lot of other people. You've made your mistake, so own up to it, apologize to anyone you've harmed in the process if that has been the case, and accept someone's mercy help you out of a bad situation (which is pretty humbling unto itself). That's literally what they do at the Nashville Union Rescue Mission, among many other places/organizations. At the end of the day, though, that person, be it you, me, or the man in the moon, comes out better for it.
I don't know this woman. In fact, I'd never even heard of her before this thread, and I only bothered googling her up today (I don't recommend that; really unpleasant stuff there). She's quite fetching, beautiful blue eyes, and hopefully she can spin that into a modeling career or something. Even better, get a real education (I don't know her education level, but if she entered porn at 19, then it's almost a certainty that it's no better than today's crap high school "education") and make something of herself, be that acting or being a diesel mechanic, I don't really care. But I do wish her the best and I pray (both literally in the sense of prayers to God and in the more absolutist sense of wishing something upon someone) her the best in her life, and I truly hope that she has a support system that will help her move forward.
She'll never escape this. It simply cannot be done, because it's all already out there. Shame can be good in hopefully preventing others from falling into the same trap, but it needs to be tempered with grace and mercy.
OK, awaiting deserved lumps.It's been ten years since that lonely day I left you
In the morning rain, smoking gun in hand
Ten lonely years but how my heart, it still remembers
Pray for me, momma, I'm a gypsy nowComment
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A related post from a nearby thread:Originally posted by Adam View Post
If "grace" is the benevolence that includes the actions forgiveness, mercy and charity, I believe it's to help disentangle us from our past. Shame and regret especially, are lifelong emotional pangs, useful scars that guide our behavior. They can be useful. They can also be "weaponized," as we like to say, and be very destructive if they are used to bind us to our "original sins," so to speak.Originally posted by Newman View Post
- "I'm a hell of a lot smarter than most of you guys." — Joe Biden, at Jesse Jackson's funeral, March 2026.
- "That's all I do in my life. I make deals. I'm really good at it." — President Donald Trump, Oct. 13, 2025.
- “Inside every progressive is a totalitarian screaming to get out,” — David Horowitz.
- "We [Democrats] are all willing to work with anyone who is serious about doing the work of censoring the American people, and advancing progress." — Ayanna Pressley, explaining progressives.
- "Florida is where Woke goes to die." — Ron DeSantis.
- "No one is above the law, and everyone has the right to a trial to prove innocence." — Nancy Pelosi, explaining Lawfare.
- “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”— Ben Franklin, who got it right.
- "The way I see it, there's always, c'mon, there's always money. It's there." — Elizabeth Warren, explaining socialism.
- "The interesting thing about the Green New Deal is it wasn't originally a climate thing at all.... We really think of it as a how-do-you-change-the-entire-economy thing." — Saikat Chakrabarti, then AOC's Chief of Staff.
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Me personally? I wouldn't. Our failure as a society is that we don't. Bad behavior is now acceptable.Originally posted by Michele View Post
MarkRace Card: A tool of the intellectually weak and lazy when they cannot counter a logical argument or factual data.
"Liberals have to stop insisting that the world is what they want it to be instead of the way it is." - Bill Maher
Political correctness is ideological fascism. It’s the antithesis of freedom. Dr. Piper
Gender is not a "Social Construct", it is an outgrowth of biological reality.Comment
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No lumps from me, Adam or you either, Newman (I miss the multiple quote thing).Originally posted by Adam View Post
May we raise children who love the unloved things - the dandelion, the worm, the spiderlings.
Children who sense the rose needs the thorn and run into rainswept days the same way they turn towards the sun...
And when they're grown and someone has to speak for those who have no voice,
may they draw upon that wilder bond, those days of tending tender things and be the one.Comment
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I wrote a whole long post and deleted it because simply put whether you are coming at this situation as a Christian or a non-believer, you cannot shame this young woman more than she's most likely shamed herself. As Adam said, the internet is forever. I also think there's a whole lot more to her young life as a teenager at home than we know from this article.
I believe we are ashamed because we sin and then figure out that it was wrong...or knew it was wrong and did it anyway. We're convicted as we should be and then try to do better. It's a pattern that happens over and over again because we are not perfect people. Hopefully, we start getting better at doing the right thing first and don't have to suffer consequences.
Do you recall the woman who was going to be stoned? Once she knew she was saved from death, do you think she changed her ways? If you do, who do you think had the most influence over her? The crowd with stones or Jesus who showed her mercy but told her to go and sin no more? I'm going with Jesus.
I'd also like to know what he wrote in the dirt...
May we raise children who love the unloved things - the dandelion, the worm, the spiderlings.
Children who sense the rose needs the thorn and run into rainswept days the same way they turn towards the sun...
And when they're grown and someone has to speak for those who have no voice,
may they draw upon that wilder bond, those days of tending tender things and be the one.Comment
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The multiple quote thing is indeed here. I haven't quite figured how it works.. . .Originally posted by Michele View Post
- "I'm a hell of a lot smarter than most of you guys." — Joe Biden, at Jesse Jackson's funeral, March 2026.
- "That's all I do in my life. I make deals. I'm really good at it." — President Donald Trump, Oct. 13, 2025.
- “Inside every progressive is a totalitarian screaming to get out,” — David Horowitz.
- "We [Democrats] are all willing to work with anyone who is serious about doing the work of censoring the American people, and advancing progress." — Ayanna Pressley, explaining progressives.
- "Florida is where Woke goes to die." — Ron DeSantis.
- "No one is above the law, and everyone has the right to a trial to prove innocence." — Nancy Pelosi, explaining Lawfare.
- “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”— Ben Franklin, who got it right.
- "The way I see it, there's always, c'mon, there's always money. It's there." — Elizabeth Warren, explaining socialism.
- "The interesting thing about the Green New Deal is it wasn't originally a climate thing at all.... We really think of it as a how-do-you-change-the-entire-economy thing." — Saikat Chakrabarti, then AOC's Chief of Staff.
Comment
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Quote 1:
Quote 2:Originally posted by Michele View Post
Type CTRL+SHIFT+"Quote 1] (hitting the "Quote button in the lower right of the quote box. It turns red and the Quote will appear in the reply box.)Originally posted by Newman View Post
Type CTRL+SHIFT+"Quote 2] the "Quote button will turn red, but nothing appears to change, except now the light orange-colored Post Reply buttong top left will show "(2)" on it.
click on Post Reply (2) and both quotes appear in the reply box.
Miracle de Dieu!
see next post:Last edited by Newman; Monday, October 10, 2022, 8:06 PM.- "I'm a hell of a lot smarter than most of you guys." — Joe Biden, at Jesse Jackson's funeral, March 2026.
- "That's all I do in my life. I make deals. I'm really good at it." — President Donald Trump, Oct. 13, 2025.
- “Inside every progressive is a totalitarian screaming to get out,” — David Horowitz.
- "We [Democrats] are all willing to work with anyone who is serious about doing the work of censoring the American people, and advancing progress." — Ayanna Pressley, explaining progressives.
- "Florida is where Woke goes to die." — Ron DeSantis.
- "No one is above the law, and everyone has the right to a trial to prove innocence." — Nancy Pelosi, explaining Lawfare.
- “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”— Ben Franklin, who got it right.
- "The way I see it, there's always, c'mon, there's always money. It's there." — Elizabeth Warren, explaining socialism.
- "The interesting thing about the Green New Deal is it wasn't originally a climate thing at all.... We really think of it as a how-do-you-change-the-entire-economy thing." — Saikat Chakrabarti, then AOC's Chief of Staff.
Comment
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Aha! It turns out you don't need the CTRL+SHIFT stuff at all.
Just click on the quote buttons . The first post clicked will appear in the reply box and the next ones won't, but let not your heart be troubled, as they say.
Just click on the Post Reply (3) button in the top left of the page, and all (3) quotes will appear.
Originally posted by Michele View PostOriginally posted by Michele View PostOriginally posted by 80zephyr View Post
I need a merit badge for this.Last edited by Newman; Monday, October 10, 2022, 8:05 PM.- "I'm a hell of a lot smarter than most of you guys." — Joe Biden, at Jesse Jackson's funeral, March 2026.
- "That's all I do in my life. I make deals. I'm really good at it." — President Donald Trump, Oct. 13, 2025.
- “Inside every progressive is a totalitarian screaming to get out,” — David Horowitz.
- "We [Democrats] are all willing to work with anyone who is serious about doing the work of censoring the American people, and advancing progress." — Ayanna Pressley, explaining progressives.
- "Florida is where Woke goes to die." — Ron DeSantis.
- "No one is above the law, and everyone has the right to a trial to prove innocence." — Nancy Pelosi, explaining Lawfare.
- “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”— Ben Franklin, who got it right.
- "The way I see it, there's always, c'mon, there's always money. It's there." — Elizabeth Warren, explaining socialism.
- "The interesting thing about the Green New Deal is it wasn't originally a climate thing at all.... We really think of it as a how-do-you-change-the-entire-economy thing." — Saikat Chakrabarti, then AOC's Chief of Staff.
Comment
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Originally posted by Newman View PostYou do!Originally posted by Newman View PostAha! It turns out you don't need the CTRL+SHIFT stuff at all.
Just click on the quote buttons . The first post clicked will appear in the reply box and the next ones won't, but let not your heart be troubled, as they say.
Just click on the Post Reply (3) button in the top left of the page, and all (3) quotes will appear.
I need a merit badge for this."Since the historic ruling, the Lovings have become icons for equality. Mildred released a statement on the 40th anniversary of the ruling in 2007: 'I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, Black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.'." - Mildred Loving (Loving v. Virginia)Comment
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